Robot

I’m not depressed

It’s just that I am alone

I don’t even feel sad about it

It’s just something that I know

I also know that I have to fix it

If I wish to be moving on.

I don’t need someone to appreciate me

I just need someone to talk to

It doesn’t have to be human

An infant dog would also do.

It has been weeks

It hasn’t blown over

This loneliness of mine

That’s why I need to take action

Any solution would be fine

As long as I don’t have to

Talk to strangers

Go out after 5

Talk about religion

Or why I don’t go out at night.

I basically need someone

Who’ll just be around

Talk when being talked to

And shut up if not.

Right.

I need to get me a robot

Right here, right now

As long as it looks human

Has eyelids and all that

I’m fine with a 16 gig RAM

And an updated system

To take in information

And process fast enough

To the nonsense this brain shoots

It should keep up.

A cold metallic friend is not sad at all

It’s more than what I have now

No lower could I fall

I’ll take what I can get

Is what I’ve always said

For now I am alone

And as such will lie in bed.

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Unfriend

two-friends

I unfriended him today on Facebook. I feel tears marching their way towards my eyes. I feel a frown slipping its way down my lips. I feel a heartbeat thumping against my chest. I feel moisture in my throat drying out. I feel a weight resting on my shoulders. I feel a throbbing coursing through my brain. This is how sadness feels. This is how anger feels.

This is a step that I am proud to have taken. I don’t know if it’s the right step, I am proud nonetheless. I have held on to that hope for far too long. To be honest, I know that I still am holding on. I am still waiting for him to change his mind. I am waiting for everybody to change their minds. They never have. I don’t know why I am still hoping that they ever will.

My shoulders are getting heavier still. My breath is getting shallower.

I am proud of what I have done. That is all there is to it right now. There is anger, sadness, disappointment, discouragement. But I hope still. So pride. That’s all there is to it right now.