Ed

I listened to Ed Sheeran for the first time in months

For every line a new memory comes

No more tears now

Only thoughts arise
You said you don’t like him

He’s just a guy with a guitar

You’re just practicing with the chords 

And the notes on the bars
You don’t relate to him

Yet I relate his songs to you

For the words, the beat, and the hymn

All remind me of you
You used to sing ‘Thinking Out Loud’

And I’d ask you to stop

No one else can sing it

Besides the man with the carrot top
‘Mah, my, mah, my’ you used to sing

It was awful, made my ears ring

I like those raspy, spontaneous rifts

But your voice sends me to laughing fits
You thought ‘All of the Stars’ is for his grandma

You even had a story about him looking at the skies

It’s for a movie, for the cinema

It’s a love song, you dumbass
When I was a mess, I still told you to ‘Lay it all on me’

You did and the weight crushed me

You asked me if I could still take it

I couldn’t but of course I faked it
Earlier this year, I was singing this for you

‘You need me, I don’t need you’

I did need you at that time

But even yourself, you could not find
I continued to pick up the pieces

To make a Lego house

You never picked any of the pieces

So I had to knock it down
I don’t wanna listen to your voice or your stories

I don’t wanna carry your baggage or any pieces

I finally truly do not need you

Listen to this, ‘I am happier without you.’

Fade


There was a lady

Who was looking sternly at me

You were standing not far away

In the darkness, I couldn’t see

The look on your face
The room started shifting

Floors were elevating

Ceilings were falling

And yet you stood, unmoved

Standing far away from me
People were saying things

Things I could not make out

What are the words that they are mumbling

For the life of me

I don’t know what they’re talking about
I stood at the end of the aisle

I could just make out the silhouette of your back 

The smoke was too thick

I had to wait a while

First an unsure step, a run, and then an attack

By the time I got to you

You were facing me all right

But those cold cold eyes

Sent shivers down my spine
I retreated slowly slowly

If I walked away slowly enough

You might change your mind and try to catch up

I walked farther away, slowly slowly

You didn’t catch up

You just faded away

Slowly

Slowly

Break

brain-transparent

 

My head is aching right now. I have been doing reports for work the whole day for the past two days. I meant for today to be a break. But just when I was already on my second Sunday errand, it hit me. I had to finish another report by the end of this day! It did not frazzle me too much, to be honest. I was gonna head off to my favorite coffee shop and see some friends (who, by the way, are arm-wrestling right now). As soon as I got on the car though, I felt my head starting to throb. It knew what was coming. Another bout of brain-twisting and bending. I have relentlessly worked on my last report for the last two weeks. I did not cook. I did not exercise. I did not even pluck my eyebrows. I was able to finish my report right on schedule, but I’m not sure I wanna go through that again.

So what to do? I want to take tomorrow off. I do hope there is nothing that has to be done. This brain needs some break.

Love?

flower

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Yesterday was the first time I understood Valentine’s Day. I think it helped that I was in a place where you would not be ostracized by the fact that you don’t have a date. Valentine’s Day was just another date on the calendar. Coming from where I came from though, I still felt that this day was special. I’m just glad that I was away from the girls carrying bouquets of flowers from their boyfriends or boys carrying bouquets of flowers for their girlfriends. It is like scrolling through Facebook. You see a little piece of other people’s lives and you spend the rest of the day questioning what you have done with your life to not deserve a bouquet in your arms. Being away from all that is like logging out of Facebook. It’s freedom. It allows you to make your own meaning of life.

And love. That is the only meaning of Valentine’s Day for me. Technically, I do not understand that word. But as ambiguous as it is, it still makes more sense than chocolates and flowers and diamond rings. I watched Girls yesterday and one of the characters said that love is the easiest thing in the world. I want to protest. I really do. But somehow, I can’t get myself to. Every moment that I was breathing in Valentine’s Day air, I was being reminded to be grateful for my continued existence. And every time that I was greeting someone with a heart-felt “Happy Valentine’s Day!” I was shouting it in the face of someone that I cared about. If love then had to be explained, I’d probably use its middle name, appreciation, or its nickname, caring, somewhere in the definition. Two words that are beautiful enough for me to understand love.

I used to despise Valentine’s Day. It was a reminder that another year had passed with me buying Ferrero Rocher for myself, not having allergies from pollen-ridden flowers in my arms, not braving the traffic with someone holding my hand. It turns out, all it takes is getting on a plane and landing not too far away. I can buy my Ferrero Rocher. I can have allergies from other things besides flowers. And I can sway my arms while walking alone. I am all right. I am amazing. Valentine’s Day is about love. And it is what I have within and all around me. Happy Valentine’s Day everyday, everybody.

 

Unfriend

two-friends

I unfriended him today on Facebook. I feel tears marching their way towards my eyes. I feel a frown slipping its way down my lips. I feel a heartbeat thumping against my chest. I feel moisture in my throat drying out. I feel a weight resting on my shoulders. I feel a throbbing coursing through my brain. This is how sadness feels. This is how anger feels.

This is a step that I am proud to have taken. I don’t know if it’s the right step, I am proud nonetheless. I have held on to that hope for far too long. To be honest, I know that I still am holding on. I am still waiting for him to change his mind. I am waiting for everybody to change their minds. They never have. I don’t know why I am still hoping that they ever will.

My shoulders are getting heavier still. My breath is getting shallower.

I am proud of what I have done. That is all there is to it right now. There is anger, sadness, disappointment, discouragement. But I hope still. So pride. That’s all there is to it right now.

Directions with Negatives

This resource could be used for giving directions with negatives. It comprises of simple one-step directions on the left hand side and the version with the negative, specifically using the word “don’t”, on the other. You could cut along the lines, fold each word into small pieces, and put them in a container. The student could then draw a paper, read and follow the instruction.

A sample is provided below. I am not sure if there is private messaging on WordPress. But if there is, kindly send me your e-mail address so I could send you a copy of the directions.

directions-with-negatives

GK – S.A.G.I.P. Samata

Gawad Kalinga - SAGIP Samata

cyd1 (2)

   Ang S.A.G.I.P. (nangangahulugang Sagipin ang Galing, Isip at Pangarap ng mga Kabataan), ay isang sangay ng Child and Youth Development Program ng Gawad Kalinga. Ito ay binubuo ng GK youth edad 7 hanggang 13.

1239919_10201297780178908_1488202005_n1239810_10201297788379113_2036244252_n1184959_10201297782498966_1149342944_n1150895_10201297782378963_1249809335_n226774_10201297785019029_899259614_n       Layunin ng programang ito na maitaguyod ang pagmamahal ng kabataan para sa Diyos, bayan, pamilya at kapwa tao sa pamamagitan ng mga values formation activities na isinasagawa isang beses sa isang linggo (“session” kung sila ay aming tawagin).

Dito sa amin sa GK Samata sa Las Pinas, ang mga gawain ng S.A.G.I.P. ay pinapangasiwaan ng mga volunteers at facilitators (o facis, kung sila ay tawagin) na mula naman sa SIGA o GK youth edad 14 hanggang 21.

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 Ayan. Isa pa lamang itong pagpapakilala. Sa mga susunod na post, ibabahagi namin kung anu – ano ang mga nagaganap tuwing may session ang SAGIP.

Maraming salamat at magandang araw sa inyong…

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On Diwali: Glorious, Magical, Bittersweet

The author has delved into two topics that I dare not even start to talk about. Religion and home. An inspiring and mesmerizing read.

cappy writes

Only the best restaurant I've ever eaten at in Bangalore. Only the best restaurant I’ve ever eaten at in Bangalore.

It’s Diwali, and with that comes so much light and love and happiness for me as a Hindu. I continually learn about elements of my faith with each passing holiday, so I always have a hard time explaining Diwali to other people, but the most beautiful thing for me about Hinduism is that I feel it deep in my soul. I understand it there first, and then in my head. That doesn’t always sit well with others, but its what makes Hinduism mine. It’s why I am Hindu and not Jain or Sikh or Muslim or Jewish or anything else. I am inherently Hindu, deep through my core, and it bursts out of me in the most glorious ways. I am a human representation of the physical aspect of Diwali.

I am drawn, like that cliche moth to its mother…

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Am I Blue? by Alice Walker

type-animals.blogspot.com.au

type-animals.blogspot.com.au

Summary

In Am I Blue?, the author tells the story of her encounters with a horse named Blue and of its profound effect on her. The piece tells of the emotions that she has observed occurring in the horse, from boredom — with being alone all the time— to contentment —at finding a partner— and to hatred —for having the said partner taken away. The author points out how all these transpired due to man’s total disregard for animal suffering, much the same way man disregards his own fellow’s suffering.

Memorable Passage

“…white children, who were raised by black people, who knew their first all-accepting love from black women, and then, when they were twelve or so,… “forget”

I have often wondered about this. How can you possibly think of people who have raised you and loved you as mere tools afterwards? How do you forget? It’s not really the memories in their heads that seem to have been lost but the ones in their hearts. You don’t forget love. I don’t know how that can ever be possible.

“…animals try to tell us…“Everything you do to us will happen to you; we are your teachers, as you are ours. We are one lesson.”

I find this line awfully beautiful. I have always believed in the idea that a part of us resides in everybody and everything. That we share but one soul, and in the end we’re all just one whole entity. I believe this about nature, the trees, the flowers, the sky. But never have I thought about it with regards to animals. What pain we inflict on them, what joy we share with them will be a reflection of the same pain and joy that we make people around us feel.

Writer’s Point

At first look, two main points may be gotten from the essay. One obviously points out the author’s compassion for animals and her disappointment with man’s ignorance towards animal needs. The other idea that would be observed is how she used Blue’s situation as a symbolism for the evolving forms of discrimination in our society. But with deeper appreciation for the piece comes the realization that these two points are not and could not be separated from each other. The author throws light at the culture of discrimination in general. As in the passage I chose earlier, the author believes that we are one lesson. We are one. We cannot use or abuse people the same way we cannot do it to animals. We are one. Whatever it is you feel you deserve, whether it be love or respect or joy, every human and every animal deserves too.

How the Piece Might be Useful To My Writing

I am still starting to figure out the style I am comfortable in when writing. There was one time not very long ago, when I decided that I wanna be a dirty realist. I dried that out, I mean I tried that out. It was interesting but I figured I liked using more words. In Am I Blue?, I found some sentences that are too long but also some that are deliciously long. Not anywhere in the essay did I spot a pretentious tone. I like that. I strive for that.

Reason for Enjoying

I enjoyed the piece very much. The topics that the author delved into are ones that I have not directly tackled before. I thought because of this disconnect, I would not be pulled into the narrative. But I was. For the most part, the author’s approach was romantic and yet straight to the point. No part of it caused me boredom or disinterest. I was genuinely excited about what happens both to Blue and the essay itself.